Christmas Decor. To decorate or not to decorate … that was the question. I know that it sounds like an incredibly silly question, it is only decorations … but it was a decision I vacillate about for days on end. With the Elephant of grief sitting on my body every day, would I even be able to do it? Should I or is it silly because we will be heading to Tucket so soon and wont be around for much of the Holiday. And then it became so obvious … Wylder’s Grinch tree MUST stand tall in our living room. Of course we are going to decorate. I love how it make me feel, I love the memories, I love that there is a tree that is only for Wylder … and I want our house to sparkle at Christmas. Niemann Pick Disease has already taken so much from us, Christmas will be different and incredibly hard … but Christmas will be Christmas and it is the most wonderful time of the year. So with my momma’s help the tree’s went up … with the Christmas music blaring.
The trees are the only decoration we decided to put up, they seemed feel the most important. Some of the other treats just felt like “stuff’ and work. As Steven and I try to persevere through grief we both have become VERY aware of how materialistic items are just that … and they are certainly NOT what matters. So this year the little trinkets stayed in their boxes and the trees are shinning for Wylder to look down and enjoy with us. Oh, how he LOVED the Grinch!!! We love your tree Littles, we do …. it makes us smile.
As we prepare for impossible FIRSTS this year we were given a packet of questions to answer from Hospice with one another. I thought it was super helpful and wanted to share it with those of you that are grieving for Wylder and/or others this Holiday. What is important is that we communicate to our friends and family what feels right and wrong. It will help us to understand each other and ourselves and get through these firsts together.
COPING WITH THE HOLIDAYS (FROM HOV)
I predict that the most difficult parts of the holiday season for me will be; _____________ _______________ ______________
My riggers with be: _________________ ________________ ___________________
Words that can be helpfor me to me to hear would be _______________ ________________ _________________
CREATING YOUR OWN MEMORIALS THIS HOLIDAYS
Just a few options from HOV about how to create your own memorial/honor your lovelies;
Plant a holiday plant or tree. Make a toast to Honor your loved ones. A Memorial Candle. Place a single flower on the table to honor the “presence of your loved one”. Share stories/memories. Buy a gift for your home that has special meaning. Journal. Be gentle with yourself and ask for help when you need it.
These things above do not fix what is broken or the way we feel, but honesty in some small way will help us get through this time. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Traditions seems impossible and yucky to us right now, as “going through the motions” as though nothing has changed brings anger. So we are stepping out of the house tomorrow and heading to brunch. A first. The weather will be beautiful and we will walk, talk and remember that there is a whole awful lot to be grateful for. Happy Thanksgiving Wylder Nation. Squeeze your loved ones so tight this year … we are sending love from our home to yours. xoxo
Preparing for Firsts
Posted by November 21, 2012 5 Commentson